Another extremely silly Amazon.com support email

I think that by the time Amazon gets around to even understanding what my issue is, self-driving cars will be commonplace and I will have a neural implant and will have seen my first Terran Eclipse from the surface of the moon.

The background to this post can be found here:  The buffoonery continues.

Here is the latest message from Amazon support.  It demonstrates again the following aspects of their customer support:

  1.  Nobody at amazon talks to each other directly.  Everything goes through a stifling and byzantine, opaque system involving lots of techno-bureaucracy and spanning multiple continents.
  2. No customer is tracked as a person.  An issue ticket is created, and if it’s not solved in one email, it is hopeless.
  3. Technical support has very shallow technical understanding, and developers are completely insulated from actually talking to customers about problems in their software.

I’m imagining the Amazon support and development team meetings look like this:

Here is the latest email I got yesterday from them.

Hello Rich,

I wanted to let you know that I’ve received a response from our technical team regarding the screenshot you sent in, and they need some additional information from you:

First, we’ll need your complete system information. Below are the instructions for how to obtain that information:

Windows 7
To start the diagnostic, click on Start \ Run and type in “dxdiag” and click OK. If this is the first time your running this diagnostic windows will ask you for permission to check for WHQL Digital Signatures. Click Yes to this. You will then get the DirectX Diagnostic Tool.

Windows 8
To open the Diagnostic tool, press the Windows button to open the main menu and type run. In the Run prompt, enter dxdiag, hit Enter and the tool will open.

Windows 10
Bring up the Start menu and start typing dxdiag (or dxdiag.exe) in the search box. After the dxdiag (or dxdiag.exe) icon appears under the ”Best match”, click it to run the DirectX Diagnostic Tool.
Click on the “Save All Information” button to save the system information as text file and send it to Amazon.

We’ll also need the log files for your Kindle for PC application. You can pull those and submit them by following the instructions below:

1. Close the Kindle for PC application.
2. Open File Explorer or My Documents. On the left-hand side, click: C: > Users > your username > AppData > Local > Amazon > Kindle > Cache > Logs
3. Click Logs.
4. The log files are labeled “1” and “2.”

Once you’ve located the log files, drag and drop each of the log files to your desktop. Reply directly to this e-mail with the log files attached.

The total size of the attachment(s) must be less than 6 MB. You will need to send a separate e-mail for each log file if the total size exceeds 6 MB.

We’ll also need the crash reports initiated by your Kindle for PC application. You can provide those by following the steps below as well:

1. Open Event Viewer by opening Control Panel. Then click on Administrative Tools. Then Event Viewer.
2. Navigate to Windows Logs, then click on Application. Double click on the Application icon.
3. Chose Event Level as “Error” in the Filter and navigate to the one created for Kindle.exe, take a snapshot of it or copy & paste in a text file and save.
4. Include this saved file in your response email as well.

Thanks again for your patience!

I’m relieved to find no false apologies in there.  That’s cool.  My response is short and hopefully sweet.  It’s hard not to be sarcastic at this point, but I wish to be careful to maintain some level of respect commensurate to the effort of the people working there.

Please tell your technical team that I’m on a Mac.  I can’t help thinking that if they had actually watched my “screenshot” (I believe I sent a movie) they would have noticed that.
In fact, I’ve already informed various people at Amazon about this multiple times.
Anyhow, now what?
Thanks
Soon I get another incredibly dense email from amazon.  In this they show that they are unaware completely that I have even heard of the very software that I am writing for help with.  It’s just mind-boggling.  Who are these people?  Note that the first sentence begins with a lie:  “I’ve reviewed our previous correspondence with you….”
Amazon
Your Account Amazon.com
Message From Customer Service
Hello,

Thank you for contacting us.

I’ve reviewed our previous correspondence with you, and I’m very sorry about the incomplete information you received.

I’ve checked the details and found that Kindle for Mac is not registered under your account. I can also see that you have deregistered Kindle for Mac
on Jun 29, 2017.

Please be informed, Kindle for Mac is a free application that lets you read Kindle books on your computer. Amazon’s Whispersync functionality automatically synchronizes your last page read so you can easily switch between Kindle devices and applications and pick up from where you left off.

Kindle for Mac is compatible with Mac OS X 10.9.5 or higher, but isn’t compatible with Power PCs.

To download Kindle for Mac, go to:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/digital/fiona/kcp-landing-page

If you’d like, you can also access most Kindle books on a PC or Mac using Kindle Cloud Reader. Kindle Cloud Reader is free, and allows you to access your Kindle content from a web browser. For more details about using Kindle Cloud Reader, see:

www.amazon.com/help/kindlecloudreader

All books available for download in your Kindle for Mac appear in your Library in the tab “All.” This tab is located on the left menu. The content that has already been downloaded has a check on the cover.

If you’re connected to the Internet, you can double-click on any item to download it to your Kindle reading app. Your book will open automatically after it’s downloaded.

If you were reading the book on another device, you can choose “Sync to furthest page read” from the Go To or Tools menu to start reading again where you left off.

More information about Kindle for Mac can be found in our Help pages here:

/www.amazon.com/help/kindleformac

Best regards,
Brij
Amazon.com
Thank you for your inquiry. Did I solve your problem?
Yes No
Your feedback is helping us build Earth’s Most Customer-Centric Company.
Ah, Amazon thinks that it is Earth’s most Customer-Centric Company.  ROTFL.  I guess that lack of self-awareness goes along with their complete lack of interest in improvement.  And I’m supposed to buy groceries from these people?  My response to them is again simple:

Wow.  Just wow.  Good lord.  The reason Kindle for Mac is not registered with you is that I CANNOT LOG INTO AMAZON WITH IT.  That’s the reason for these emails to you.  That is my question.  I have said this dozens of times.

And Earth’s most customer-centric company sends me this reply:

Hello,

This is an automatic e-mail to confirm we’ve received your e-mail
and a Customer Service associate will be in touch within the next
6 hours. In the meantime, please visit our Help Pages:
https://www.amazon.com/help

Please note: This e-mail was sent from a notification-only
address that can’t accept incoming e-mail. Please don’t reply to
this message.

Regards,
Customer Service Department
Amazon.com

Apple Photos app takes incredibly long time to recognize faces

Since I came to Thailand 6 weeks ago, iPhoto on my Macbook pro has been scanning for faces.  On my Mac Pro desktop, this process took about 2 days as I recall.  My iPhone 7 Plus, which I bought a week ago is almost finished.  This time it’s incredibly slow.  I am so sick of seeing this screen:

Picture of Photos app with 18,000 photos remaining to scan.
Wow, only 6,782 photos to go! At the current rate of 100 photos per day, it will take another 60 days at least.

 

screen shot shows iPhone is basically done in less than a week.
iPhone 7 Plus kicks my MacBook Pro’s ass.

I’ve started tracking my progress:

2016-12-22  21:59:  9521 photos left to scan when I quit
2016-12-24  19:04: 16232 photos scanned, 8771 photos left when I quit
2016-12-24  22:14: 16,350 photos scanned, 8653 photos left when I quit
2016-12-26  00:49: 16,352 photos scanned, 8663 photos left when I quit
2016-12-26  19:46: 16,372 photos scanned, 8642 photos left when I quit
2016-12-27  18:29: 16,475 photos scanned, 8574 photos left when I quit
2016-12-28  23:43: 16,707 photos scanned, 8356 photos left when I quit
2016-12-28  23:43: 16,910 photos scanned, 8156 photos left when I quit
2016-12-29  23:51: 17,736 photos scanned, 7332 photos left when I quit
2016-12-30  ??:??: 17,933 photos scanned, 7141 photos left when I quit
2016-12-31  17:34: 18,025 photos scanned, 7064 photos left when I quit
2017-01-01  15:02: 18,307 photos scanned, 6782 photos left when I quit
So there was a burst of speed where it was doing 3,000 photos per day (still not fast, but eventually will finish at that rate), then it slowed to a crawl.

I’ve tried rebooting.  I’ve tried leaving Photos running, and I’ve tried quitting.  Nothing seems to make much difference.  Anybody have this problem and solve it?

Update:  I posted this on apple.stackexchange.com